Life / Family
My parent has an addiction, mental illness, or serious health problem
A child can love a parent and still need protection from unsafe or unpredictable behavior.
The 30-second answer
You did not cause the illness, and you cannot cure it by behaving perfectly. Getting another adult involved is not betrayal.
Things you may feel
Unpredictability
Mood, energy, memory, promises, money, driving, or supervision may change.
Secrets and stigma
Families sometimes hide illness or addiction, leaving children to invent explanations.
Love and fear together
A parent can be loving at times and unsafe at others.
What you are not responsible for
- Monitoring medication alone
- Stopping substance use through persuasion
- Riding with an impaired driver
- Covering up violence or neglect
- Becoming the parent’s counselor
Something you can say
“I love my parent, but their health or substance use is affecting safety at home. I need another adult to help make a plan.”
When to involve another adult
You need practical help
Food, medication, transportation, school records, housing, health care, or supervision are unreliable.
Food, medication, transportation, school records, housing, health care, or supervision are unreliable.
You do not feel safe
There is violence, sexual behavior, threats, severe neglect, or impaired driving.
There is violence, sexual behavior, threats, severe neglect, or impaired driving.
The weight is too much
You are losing sleep, school, friendships, or hope because you are carrying adult responsibilities.
You are losing sleep, school, friendships, or hope because you are carrying adult responsibilities.
Sources and limits: Family arrangements vary widely. A page cannot determine legal custody rights or replace a caseworker, lawyer, clinician, school counselor, or local child-protection professional. SAMHSA families and substance use · CDC ACE risk and protective factors
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