Be the safe person
My friend told me something happened. What do I say?
Believe them, stay calm, protect their choices, help with immediate safety, and do not turn support into an investigation.
Avoid these reactions
- “Why did you send it?”
- “Why did you go back?”
- “Are you sure?”
- Demanding every detail
- Taking their device and messaging the person yourself
- Promising secrecy you may not be able to keep
Check immediate safety
Ask whether the person is in immediate physical danger, being threatened now, or thinking about harming themselves. Bring in a safe adult or emergency help when necessary.
Preserve choices
Offer options rather than orders: save evidence, talk to an adult, contact a counselor, report an account, use an image-protection tool.
Do not spread the story
Share only with people needed for safety or required reporting. Do not forward intimate images or turn the disclosure into gossip.
Keep showing up
Support often matters after the first conversation. Ask what contact feels helpful and respect boundaries.
Keep going