Life / Family
My grandparents raise me. Is that normal?
Grandparents raise millions of children and grandchildren. Love, worry, gratitude, anger, and questions about parents can exist together.
The 30-second answer
You are not alone or less legitimate. Millions of U.S. adults live with grandchildren, and many grandparents are primary caregivers.
Things you may feel
Generational differences
Rules, technology, language, religion, clothing, or discipline may feel different from friends’ homes.
Worry about aging
You may think about their health or fear losing them more than classmates do.
Questions about parents
You may love your grandparents while still wanting answers, contact, distance, or boundaries with parents.
What you are not responsible for
- Protecting grandparents from every worry
- Feeling grateful every minute
- Giving up ordinary school, friendships, or goals
- Choosing between grandparents and parents
- Answering invasive questions
Something you can say
“My grandparents are raising me. I care about them, and I also have complicated feelings about why.”
When to involve another adult
You need practical help
Food, medication, transportation, school records, housing, health care, or supervision are unreliable.
Food, medication, transportation, school records, housing, health care, or supervision are unreliable.
You do not feel safe
There is violence, sexual behavior, threats, severe neglect, or impaired driving.
There is violence, sexual behavior, threats, severe neglect, or impaired driving.
The weight is too much
You are losing sleep, school, friendships, or hope because you are carrying adult responsibilities.
You are losing sleep, school, friendships, or hope because you are carrying adult responsibilities.
Sources and limits: Family arrangements vary widely. A page cannot determine legal custody rights or replace a caseworker, lawyer, clinician, school counselor, or local child-protection professional. Census grandparents data · Federal family statistics
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